Mulk

Last night I wanted a glass of water. I went to the fridge. I opened the door. I got some water. I poured it into my glass. I drank the water. A little while later, my toddler wanted some water. He went to the fridge. He pouted. He held the handle. He looked at me. He said, 'Mulk!' (his term for any drinkable liquid). I took his queues and poured him some mulk.

Life often gives you tools. It gave me legs, a refrigerator, water, and a glass. Maybe you have these things, too! It's really great when you put these tools together! Sometimes, however, your tools are a little more cryptic and the instructions are unclear. Oh! So I have 20% Native American in my results but my Y-DNA haplogroup is R (European) and I have 5 matches, all with Arabic names! Well this is a fun puzzle! In this situation, you should preferably start with a beer.

Genetic genealogy, just like literally everything ever, will not tell you the meaning of life. It is a tool. You have to use that tool to make some mulk. If you get your results and sit on them until...forever...well you're probably not reading this blog in the first place. You do get what you put in, to a degree. That's not to say you get your money back. That's unfortunately the one thing you don't get back. However, the array of knowledge now available to you is larger than you might think. Even if you have no matches. Even if your matches don't write back.

Though it can be potentially scary to uncover your biological past, there's nothing really you can do wrong when navigating or acting upon your results (except maybe writing vulgar emails to your Matches. That would be wrong). On a related topic, Roberta Estes' recent blog post about how to contact your matches is fantastic (http://dna-explained.com/2016/01/20/saying-hello-in-the-dna-world/). Write your matches. Even if they are distant or even if you don't really care. Distant matches can provide great information. Engage in projects. Unsurprisingly, Roberta also has a great recent blog post on projects (http://dna-explained.com/2016/01/25/how-to-join-a-dna-project/). I feel that maybe my posts should just be links to Roberta's blog.

Nothing will be answered for you. Think of your DNA results as a family reunion you didn't realize you were having. There's people you like there. There's people you don't. If you sit at a table by yourself with your Diet Coke and don't talk to anyone, why are you here? I get it. The free T-shirt. If you engage in conversation, however, you might find out that  your uncle fought in WWII and saved a village in France and now has a town there named after him. Similarly, contacting a match might reveal that you share a common ancestor in France in the 19th century. What if your uncle saved his own ancestor's descendants? Wouldn't that be nuts?

Within your results are other tools you may not even realize exist. Go get a glass of water from the fridge and explore.

Everyone's Connected

Jacob wakes up in his housepod floating above the ground that has become a conglomeration of 3 major cities that have since merged due to overpopulation and urban sprawl. He's tired because his baby has been up all night and the robo maid has been malfunctioning, failing to feed him. Also, her hover thrusts are in disrepair and she's been getting an attitude since you refused to pay for her therapy because, 'Spending money on a robot's 'feelings' is like using a lighter to start a fire.' He's hungry, so he verbally tells the toaster, from his own bed, to turn on and cook his breakfast. He then dives into his virtual reality workplace simulator.

300,000 years earlier, Oook wakes up in grass. Well, it's more of a bed, but it's really grass, in the shape of his bed. He's tired because he's been up all night because he sleeps on grass. He's hungry because the recent snow has made hunting difficult and no plants have been growing, except cave grass. He walks outside, spends about 45 minutes starting a fire using sticks and twigs, grunts, and walks across the vast plain in search of anything resembling a living creature.

You wake up today. You wake up early. You wake up extra early. You wake up this early because your baby boy wakes you up by screaming. Your fight-or-flight response, unbeknowst to you, may be a direct result of early humanity, kicks in and you run to his room. The house is a mess, and you think it's due to a payment issue with the maid. She's been asking for a raise. You really want to make toast, but the toaster is just too far away. Maybe it's just you, but you really wish there were an easier way to get toast. Maybe you'll invent something someday. Instead, you lay in bed hungry and log in to your laptop to start work.

No other vocation, occupation, or hobby is as dynamic and interconnected as genealogy, or genetic genealogy. We're all part of the same experience. I know you've heard that before, but it's absolutely true. Nobody on earth is disconnected from this. Every action you take or experience you encounter is a result, or at least reflection, of all of your family members that came before you.

There is no reason to take a genetic genealogy test if you don't want to explore more. This field requires you to interact not only with information you are given, but with new relatives you never knew you had.

Only by sharing each others' experiences and history can we not only understand that we do all share some commonalities (especially among your matches), but also truly realize that prejudice, hate, and antagonism don't belong within a family that consists of people on a tiny planet in an enormous world.

Haplogrump

DNA testing results can vary wildly. For example, though everyone is guaranteed information (ie. haplogroups, migration maps, ethnic percentages), matches can vary wildly from person to person.

It's not always easy to not have any matches. A good indicator of why you have no matches is your haplogroup. Even if you have zero matches, you are still provided with a haplogroup and are able to track your deep ancestral origins and general migratory patterns. If your haplogroup is rare among our database, or older in origin, you may have fewer, if not zero, matches. However, those people with rare haplogroups are our lifeblood. They help open up doors to new ancestral information we either don't have enough data on yet, or are still researching. After 3+ years working here, only last week did I pull up an individual's account that had mtDNA haplogroup F. The more people with a certain ancestry, the more information about that ancestry we can acquire to provide potentially everyone with more information. Additionally, the more people that test, the higher likelihood that you will discover new, or at least one, match. This is a group effort, and like a lot of academic discoveries, it requires a whole lot of data. Results are constantly changing. Even information on, for example, the migratory pattern associated with your assigned haplogroup or subclade might not be the same in 5 years as it is now.

As long as technology continues to improve and genetic genealogical companies acquire more data, we continue to strive for that point where everyone knows everyone in the world to whom they're related and have precise information on all of their ancestry. However, this is a very gradual process.

Until that day, if you have no matches, I may have to say that last thing you want to hear: keep waiting. It may not be tomorrow, but it may be tomorrow! Who knows? Your long-lost rain-hissing lights on-sleeping sister may be swabbing this minute.

You Can Find Cousins but They Don't Have to Like You

DNA testing is a wondrous thing. It has helped absolve suspected murderers. It has helped solve crimes that were seemingly unsolvable. It has connected people with family members they didn't know existed. It has provided me with a very confusing job title that has caused me to tell everyone at family gatherings that I'm unemployed and I then have to listen to everyone else's experiences with the stock market and litigation and alligator wrestling and whatever other normal jobs people have.

I unofficially heard once that, regarding genetic genealogy, about 2/3 of all matches you email will not write you back. That sounds bad, until you realize that:

1. Your match does not know how to use a computer.
2. Your match's email address is no longer valid.
3. Your match is going through some stuff and will get back with you once their stupid parents will get off their back about their curfew (only applicable to matches under 14).
4. Your match never checks their personal email inbox and is too lazy to write anyone back (only applicable if your match is me).
5. Your match has passed away.
6. Your match didn't receive your email because it went into their Spam inbox.
7. Your match did receive your email but didn't write back because they didn't want to.

I want to focus on number 7. Sometimes people don't write back. Sometimes your son doesn't call you back. It may be human nature. Unfortunately, in any field, a lack human communication can be a factor in limiting progress. Maybe Native Americans could have told Mr. Columbus that he wasn't in India. Maybe your son can call and prevent your oncoming panic attack because you don't know where he is and it's 2 hours past his curfew.

I like to think of the above stat as reading that 1/3 of matches will write you back. We can't do anything about Curmudgeons. Curmudgeons be curmudgeons. While inconvenient, they are still necessary in not only building the overall database, but also still providing information to you. If they included an ancestral surname or tree, you can still view this. If you share matches in common with them, this may also be helpful. On top of this, they are contributing to the vast knowledge of human genetics in general. You can't have all of your matches respond. That would be like everyone at your family's dinner table talking at the same time, and I'm still listening to like three relatives talk about their jobs.

Ask Me Why Sex Doesn't Matter Anymore!

After having worked for this company for several months, I found a stack of t-shirts on a desk in a coworker's office. As an individual that is often found to wear clothing, I became curious. While reading the bold print on the shirts, 'Ask me why SEX doesn't matter anymore!', I became even more curious. I had always figured that sex mattered somewhat. At least to some degree. Its occurrence generated my existence. Did I not matter anymore? Is this the reason I'm standing in my coworker's office and nobody has yet acknowledged me? Is it not also because I walk into people's offices so much that people try to ignore me in the hope that I will eventually get hungry and walk to the break room? If so, then why put a stack of interesting shirts with an interesting catchphrase in my line of sight? I must matter then!

I decided to listen to this stack of shirts and asked my coworker sitting in this office why sex doesn't matter anymore. 'Who are you?', she responded. Good one! I decided to leave before she pulled that prank again where she calls security.

Several years ago, our company decided to make this line of shirts to correspond with our administrator conference for that year. I believe this was the year that autosomal DNA testing was introduced, wherein both females and males can test. For the purposes of this test, it didn't really matter which sex you were. However, technically speaking, genetic genealogy testing first opened the door to both sexes when mtDNA testing (mitochondrial DNA) was introduced years before this. Also technically speaking, mtDNA is the black sheep of genetic genealogy. It's sort of like that friend you had when you were a kid that you didn't really like but kept around because their parents had a lot of money. mtDNA is important, but not necessarily fun.

Now here's the part where I advocate for mtDNA testing after such a supportive prologue. In all honesty, it's sometimes necessary. Do you want to confirm your deep, direct maternal line Native American ancestry? Autosomal DNA can't help, as it only deals with recent ancestry (we'll get into autosomal testing soon). mtDNA testing is the only test that can possibly help in this quest if, say, your mother's mother's mother's mother was Native American and inherited that from her mother. Do you want to confirm a relationship with another individual with whom you share direct maternal ancestry, and the other individual doesn't have autosomal DNA results? mtDNA is the way to go. Would you like a rough idea of likely recent maternal countries of origin? mtDNA is your test! Are you a masochist that thrives off of pain, sweat, and sleeplessness derived from genealogical brick walls and want a test as anger fuel? mtDNA is the only way to go.

mtDNA testing is equally as important as Y-DNA when uncovering your respective deep ancestry. It hovers between areas of anthropology (deep ancestry) and genealogy (recent ancestry). Just like with Y-DNA, mtDNA provides your ancient haplogroup information and general migratory patterns. As with any test, as new technology and methodologies gradually surface, your results can become more geographically-specific as the years progress.

Admittedly, low-level mtDNA matches can share ancestry with you going back as many as about 52 generations. That's about 1,300 years! So, genealogically speaking, these matches are not highly relevant. On the highest level, your matches are likely related within the past 16-22 generations (about 400 - 550 years). They still aren't terribly close, but they can be. So, theoretically, your sibling and distant relative can both match you on this level. It's just harder for us to tell the difference with regard to the degree of relationship. mtDNA mutates very slowly. On top of this, when you contact a match, it's harder to make the genealogical connection. Historically, maternal records are not as well kept. Also, mtDNA testing cannot help trace a surname. The obvious advantage to mtDNA matching, however, would be the same as the disadvantage. It is able to go back further to uncover individuals with whom you share ancestry going back into the past.

As our company decided to ditch the 'Ask me why SEX doesn't matter anymore!' shirts in favor of something less objectionable for that conference, we ended up having a lot of these in the office. As a married father-of-two (poor), I have taken a lot of them. One night, without thinking, I took my 3-year-old to the store while I was wearing one of them. Never have so many strangers wanted to silently call the authorities.

Once mtDNA testing was introduced, sex still very much mattered within the realm of genetic testing for genealogy. Until the day a higher being decides to infuse female DNA with a Y chromosome, it always will. Until that day, we will all be lucky enough to continue to endure the unbearable agony/pleasure that can only be brought about by continuing with genealogical questions that could have easily been answered if your uncle Jake would just take a f*cking test!

Tracing Surnames or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Balkin

My last name is Balkin. Your last name is not Balkin. This makes researching the surname Balkin very difficult.

These three sentences are all you need to know about the frustrations you will feel when you decide to research your surname.

There are admittedly a few Balkins around the world. For example, if you Google my name, you will find me. However, you will also find that I am an Australian entrepreneur who seems to be, at least on the internet, far more successful. My aunt has been inviting me every year to Passover dinner via email. She always wondered why I never showed up and I always wondered why she doesn't like me. This was the case until she realized she had been emailing Australian me the entire time. This is not part of the topic at all. I apologize.

When researching your surname, if your surname is not Balkin, then you're off to a really good start. So, go research!

DNA testing should be a supplement to your research. Y-DNA testing is recommended for possibly tracing your surname. Autosomal DNA can sometimes be used for tracing a surname (I'll get into that in a later post). mtDNA should NEVER be used for this purpose. mtDNA testing will frustrate you. I'm not just talking in terms of tracing a surname. I'm talking in terms of tracing anything ever. mtDNA is the genealogical equivalent of municipal traffic laws. It's super frustrating but sometimes necessary.

Back to Y-DNA. If you don't already know, you have to be male to test. This was not my decision. I had a caller once that yelled at me for about 25 minutes because we were being sexist by not letting her test. I was at a loss for words but I think I eventually blamed lawn gnomes this social injustice.

If you are not male, you will need a male paternal relative to test (ie. brother, father, father's brother, father's brother's son, etc.). If you are able to get a Y-DNA test and look at your results, your match list may (or may not) surprise you. This leads to another genetic genealogy misconception that needs to be corrected: Your Y-DNA matches will very likely not all share the same surname.

Simply because your matches have different surnames does not mean that tracing a surname is impossible. If your match list consists of a bunch of different surnames and you recognize none of them, look for patterns. Look to see if you can see, among the matches, a group that all share the same, or similar, surname. Once you have done this, click on Projects at the top and see if a project exists corresponding to this name. If so, join the project to see 1. if you fit among other members and 2. if you can email the project administrator(s) for more possible information.

Another important aspect is marker level. For example, 37 marker matches are more closely related than 12. Also, let's say you have a lot of similar surname matches at the 37 level. You likely descend from whatever surname this is within a closer amount of time than if you have a group of surname matches at the 12 marker level. This is especially true if this surname is different than the one at 37.

The principal reasons why your matches do not share your surnames can vary. A common reason is non-paternity events (ie. adoptions, illegitimate births, etc.) Another reason could be changed immigration records, changed birth records, and a variety of other possibilities. Finally, modern surnames have only been around for a few hundred years and your matches can potentially share common ancestry with you going back as many as about 600 years. This means that while surnames have only been around roughly 300 years or so (this can vary), the ancestry you share with these matches can go much deeper (up to 600 years). Because of this, your matches may have unrecognizable surnames.

If you do have a lot of matches with the same, or similar surname (whether it's your surname or not), this is great (hopefully)! Contact them. Respond to them if they contact you. This is genealogy! This is sharing information with family! This is the reason I'm currently employed!

Your test results are a direct reflection of you as a person (and common misconceptions about results)

Before I took my first DNA test, I was a relatively well-adjusted late twentysomething living in the Houston, TX suburbs. I had just lost some weight, had a nice job, and had relatively decent hygiene. I took my complimentary test on my first day of work here (as a perk) and didn't think much of it. I left the conference room where the testing was administered and headed to the restroom to do restroom-type activities. How was I supposed to know that, on the other side of the office wall, my tiny samples were all being transferred to the lab as part of a sinister plot to destroy my humanity? Here, this is what I looked like before I tested:

After I was notified of my results, I went into my account and viewed them. I was no longer a decent guy from the suburbs. I was now a grotesque, reptile-like creature who fed solely off of small bugs and low-hanging fruits from within the deep interior of the Amazon rainforest. If another snake saw me as a match, they would change their match settings. Here is a photo of me from just after my results came in:

Look away! I'm hideous!

This overly-dramatic introduction is meant to show that nothing and nobody else can change who you are. A DNA test may uncover clues as to where you came from, but where you are now, and where you are going, are completely up to you. It is really easy for me to sit here and say that not to worry if your father doesn't show up as a match to you. That can potentially be devastating. My only point is that a test result should not ever negatively affect the way you feel about yourself. It won't take away your accomplishments and shouldn't alter your well-being.

I've had customers over the years that their percentage breakdown has a percentage they don't want/believe or they have a match they don't want or don't have a match they do. If you go back far enough, everyone matches everyone and all of our percentages are the same.

That being said, it can be jarring to uncover something you were not aware of. There are some misconceptions regarding 'surprising' results. This will not cover all of them.

First, Y-DNA haplogroups are being reported shorthand now (Haplogroup-Terminal SNP/ie: I-M253). If this is your haplogroup, all of your Y-DNA matches should be the same general group as you (I). However, even an extremely close match may not share the same Terminal SNP as you (M253). You could have a perfect match that is I-L287. Your haplogroup is the same! However, your perfect match may have had a different level of SNP testing, which would cause this to happen. This is no cause for concern.

Second, if you are tracing a specific ancestral group, and it doesn't show in your results, this doesn't necessarily mean that you do not have it. As I had hinted at in an earlier post, genetic testing cannot always disprove ancestry. If you know you have Native American ancestry and your autosomal percentage breakdown does not show a Native American percentage, this simply means that you did not inherit enough Native American markers from your recent ancestors to meet the testing system's minimum percentage requirements. It is not definitely saying you have no Native American ancestry.

Third, if a cousin does not show as a match, this does not necessarily mean they are not a cousin. This is more in regards to autosomal testing. With this test, because it is based on genetic markers you randomly inherited, there is about a 99% chance that two 2nd cousins or closer will match, about a 90% chance that two 3rd cousins will match, about a 50% chance that two 4th cousins will match, and only about a 10% chance that two 5th cousins will match. This leaves a considerable amount of room for some 3rd, 4th, etc. relatives to not show.

There are many more examples and I will cover them in later posts.

Now that you are the exact same person you were before you read this and before you tested, enjoy the rest of your afternoon!