You Can Find Cousins but They Don't Have to Like You

DNA testing is a wondrous thing. It has helped absolve suspected murderers. It has helped solve crimes that were seemingly unsolvable. It has connected people with family members they didn't know existed. It has provided me with a very confusing job title that has caused me to tell everyone at family gatherings that I'm unemployed and I then have to listen to everyone else's experiences with the stock market and litigation and alligator wrestling and whatever other normal jobs people have.

I unofficially heard once that, regarding genetic genealogy, about 2/3 of all matches you email will not write you back. That sounds bad, until you realize that:

1. Your match does not know how to use a computer.
2. Your match's email address is no longer valid.
3. Your match is going through some stuff and will get back with you once their stupid parents will get off their back about their curfew (only applicable to matches under 14).
4. Your match never checks their personal email inbox and is too lazy to write anyone back (only applicable if your match is me).
5. Your match has passed away.
6. Your match didn't receive your email because it went into their Spam inbox.
7. Your match did receive your email but didn't write back because they didn't want to.

I want to focus on number 7. Sometimes people don't write back. Sometimes your son doesn't call you back. It may be human nature. Unfortunately, in any field, a lack human communication can be a factor in limiting progress. Maybe Native Americans could have told Mr. Columbus that he wasn't in India. Maybe your son can call and prevent your oncoming panic attack because you don't know where he is and it's 2 hours past his curfew.

I like to think of the above stat as reading that 1/3 of matches will write you back. We can't do anything about Curmudgeons. Curmudgeons be curmudgeons. While inconvenient, they are still necessary in not only building the overall database, but also still providing information to you. If they included an ancestral surname or tree, you can still view this. If you share matches in common with them, this may also be helpful. On top of this, they are contributing to the vast knowledge of human genetics in general. You can't have all of your matches respond. That would be like everyone at your family's dinner table talking at the same time, and I'm still listening to like three relatives talk about their jobs.